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Week 429 // When it Was Night

by Mount Everest

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At dinner with some friends last week, the conversation turned to fear of death, because apparently my friends and I love to have a great time. During that conversation, I offered that my own fear of death likely stems from my proximity to organized religion; that growing up with frequent visits to church put the concept of the afterlife at the forefront of my mind, and that drifting away from faith means the reward I was working toward may no longer be mine. Reflecting on it later, what I had said didn't ring true anymore. I wrote this song to flesh out the truth behind my own fear of dying, and to correct the overly academic approach I had taken with my friends.

Here's the truth: when I was younger, I feared death because I wanted to be loved before I died. Now I fear it because it could bring an end to the love I've found. Of course that outcome depends on big answers to questions like the ones you'd find in church, but I'm not trying to approach it that way. I'm okay describing my fear here, and getting it out of my system for a little while. That's my way of resolving to live in the here and now while I can.


When I was small
I was nervous child
I wanted to keep that secret
But I'm sure it showed

When it was night
After I had grown
You put your hand on my chest
And you left it there

Later on I'll succumb to my age
Or something worse
What else am I supposed to do?
There are no words
For the fear that I'll lose you then

Another storm
It was a different life
I lit the ground right beneath me
So I could feel the heat

When the wind changed
And I was someone new
You put my hand to your forehead
And you kept it there

Later on I'll succumb to my age
Or something worse
What else am I supposed to do?
There are no words
For the fear that you'll lose me then


released February 5, 2019




Mount Everest Maine

I’ve been making up a new song every week since 2010.
Follow me on Instagram [mounteverestmusic] and explore more than 600 songs here.

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