Deep in its bones, I think this song wanted to be a rock song. Rattling in the back of my head, I can hear the driving bass and drums. I can hear the build on the chorus, and I can hear an extended bridge, with a bit of a guitar solo. I hear these things when I listen back on the work I have just done, but I didn't hear them when I was writing it, so they aren't there, and that's okay. They are ghosts of a different song, and someday when this one is all but forgotten, I'll plagiarize myself and write it again that other way.
For what it's worth, I think it works this way too. The sparseness accentuates the drive of the lone guitar and the lilt in the vocal. It's almost like being alone in whichever forest of the past I have sung myself into this evening.
I like this song, but I'm critical of the lyrics. I believe there's promise and atmosphere in the first verse. The second verse has the atmosphere, but it doesn't hold the payoff of the first verse's promise. Nonetheless, I have scratched at something here. If it still itches in a week, I'll scratch again.
lyrics
Once, getting toward morning light
Late in summer
Drunk like a fool
Out in the breeze
Looking for others
Deep in the woods
Deep in the shadow cast
Under the mountain
Deep in the past
Bathe in the stream
Cool of the fountain
Wait for the sunlight sunlight
Sunlight sunlight
Comes right for you
Sunlight sunlight
Sunlight sunlight
Always knows you
Oh the sunlight
Over the years
Cold of the eastern wind
Cutting the evening
Night after night
Nectar and spice
Silently breathing
Finding my way
Tripping on roots and stones
Deep in the winter
Feeling the path
Under my skin
Ache like a splinter
Under the moonlight moonlight
Moonlight moon light
Comes right for you
Moonlight moonlight
Moonlight moonlight
Always knows you
Oh the moonlight