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Notes:
I have a notebook, and in my notebook I scribble lyrics, and ideas for songs, and little phrases, and parts of phrases. This week I scribbled “A song about the alternating and contradictory nature of my internal monologue. Wide open possibility vs. crushing doubt.” This of course meant that I was to write a song about my mind, or as my illustration would have you believe, my brain. So that’s what I tried to do.
I don’t think I’m alone in that my mind tends to wander when I’m trying to fall asleep. This is the most active time of day for my internal monologue. During other parts of the day I usually have other things occupying my mind. But lying in bed at night with nothing to distract me from myself, my mind becomes sort of an echo chamber. Very quickly my internal monologue becomes an internal dialogue, and sometimes that internal dialogue becomes an argument. I think about all sorts of things, but mostly about the past and the future, two subjects on which my internal dialogue can be fiercely divided.
It seems that I have an optimist and a pessimist in me, and they never agree on anything. To the optimist, I’m on the right track. None of my mistakes have been so bad that I can’t recuperate and I’m bound for great success and a happy life no matter what I do. The pessimist never forgets anything, and every past indiscretion has lead me inexorably to an inevitable future filled with failure and misery, and it’s just around the corner. To be honest, I find both of these characters to be obnoxious and obstructive to a productive state of mind. When I’m not in my echo chamber they tend to blend together into a somewhat normal human being capable of real perspective on his own life. They say that everyone has more than one side to them. I guess that I’m just very well acquainted with two of mine. At least well enough acquainted to write a song for them.
Synths, and banjo. Guitar, and bass-guitar. Harmonica and piano. Rocks and rolls.
Here’s hoping your Monday doesn’t totally suck.
~Jesse
lyrics
Lyrics:
Close your eyes
And in the dark behind your eyelids
You can stay there in the perfect silence
And the violence and the peace
And all the kindness and the grief
They are your friends
Take a look
Now pretend there’s no horizon
Now imagine there are no goodbyes
And in the end you’re gonna start
And from the start you’re bound to end
And start again
And on your struggle you depend
Oh now you’ve gotta let it go
And not to break you’d rather bend bend bend
And now it’s time to let it go
You are the risk
You are the burn
You are the light
You were built to learn
You are unheard of
You are unheard
of
And when it all adds up
It’s a beauty of a sight
And when they speak to you
When you lie awake at night
It’s a comfort and a curse
Yeah it’s a cry against the light
It’s a cry against my better side
And on your struggle you depend
Oh now you’ve gotta let it go
And not to break you’d rather bend bend bend
And now it’s time to let it go
And when you’re looking for the end
Come on you never let it go
When you’re alive you must pretend pretend pretend
And now it’s time to let it go
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